Trusting

Psalms 42:7 says, “Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls.”

I have just finished reading a book entitled “Anything” by Jennie Allen. I began to read it shortly after I received it, but I stopped reading – not because it wasn’t good or too difficult, but because I was afraid.

Jennie and her husband prayed, “God, we will do anything. Anything.” I wanted to be able to pray a similar prayer, except I was pretty sure my head might think it was a good prayer to pray, but my heart wasn’t sure it was ready for it. So I set the book aside. I looked at it. I longed for it. I even flipped through the pages. I knew “deep was calling to deep”, but I couldn’t climb over my fears to get to the place where I could truly say to the Lord, I will do anything.

Then the other day I thought of the book again. I pulled it out and began to read. I found myself turning the pages and feeling the depth of one soul calling to another. I felt the resonance of Jennie’s words on the pages of her book in the pit of my gut. I have always longed for something more, something deeper and something of significance, but how do I get from where I am today to a place of giving my whole life to my God?

Then I read chapter 6 “Scrapbooks – Abandoning Fear”. As I was reading it I wished I’d read this chapter first – I might have continued reading if I thought we struggled with the same thing. On page 57 Jennie says, “I believe that being willing to abandon everything requires being willing to go anywhere – and willing to let go of everything.” Jennie has put into words the true place of my hesitancy. What if I can’t do this?

"What ifs" and "I don’t know what to do" are familiar phrases from my mouth and certainly in my head. These phrases have been powerful enough to stop the longings of my heart; to step out and ask God to use me – for anything.

On page 94 of Jennie Allen’s book “Anything” she says, “Do I believe in the invisible enough that I’m willing to live for it?” Now that is a question each of us needs to answer!

If I really believe in an eternal, loving God then trusting Him this side of heaven should change my daily, and certainly my eternal, perspective. If I really believe God has it all in control then stepping out into what feels like a risky situation takes on a whole different scenario of trust. I shift to trusting God, not the situation I’m in.

This book has shifted my perspective and challenged my longings. Perhaps more than anything it has begun the process of shifting what, or rather who, I trust.

“See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.” Isaiah 12:2 (NLT)

Jo-Ann