Pondering…

Mary Did You Know…you have no doubt heard that song already this season. I don’t mean to make light of the message of it but the simple answer to the question is – no. No…she did not know.

The song mentions some highlights. Walking on water. Miracles. Tender moments. Events for a mom to treasure in her heart.

The fact is that Mary didn’t know and yet she said to the angel “I am the Lord’s servant…May it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 2:38)

As a Jewish woman at that time, the concept of what the Messiah would accomplish was framed at least in part by a Roman occupation. When the angel reported that the Son to whom Mary would give birth would have a kingdom that would never end, Mary may have had some preconceived ideas of what that would look like for both her son and herself.

I wonder…Mary, if you had known…would you still have said yes?

Let’s consider some of the happenings in Mary’s life that didn’t make it into the song.

First – no room in the inn. A stable, a barn, a cave – whatever it was, to call that a humble beginning is an understatement. And then the first visitors – not town officials, not family, not religious leaders…just a bunch of stinky shepherds…it is after this we are told that “Mary treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke2:19)

I imagine that Mary pondered more than just that one time.

I get ‘pondering’.

When I ponder, sometimes it is with amazement at what God has done or said or shown to me.

 Sometimes when I ponder there is a sense of trying to figure out how things fit together.

Sometimes when I ponder it is with questions, doubt and uncertainty…did I really hear from God?

When I look at how Mary’s life unfolded, I wonder if she experienced all these types of ponderings too?

Mary & Joseph take the infant Jesus to the temple where they meet Simeon who rejoices at the sight of Israel’s deliverer. He blesses them and then turns to Mary and tells her that “a sword will pierce your own soul too.” I wonder how much Mary pondered that…

Years later, Jesus is ministering to the people and Mary tries to see him. When Jesus is told that he says “Who is my mother and who are my brothers? Pointing to his disciples he said “Here are my mother and my brothers…” (Matt12:48, 49)

That had to hurt just a bit…is this what blessed and highly favoured looks like…or is this again the sword piercing your soul…I would be pondering…

Then we see Mary at the foot of the cross. I can not even imagine her pain…I can not imagine the emotional agony of that scene. We read it and know the outcome…but for Mary who carried and gave birth to this one…this one now broken and bleeding on a cross… to remember that greeting from the angel more than 30 years before… I wonder if the memory of that greeting now seemed a little hollow…even mocking…

No… Mary did not know…

Mary… if you had known, would you still have said “May it be to me as you have said”?

We all have before us the opportunity to say “May it be to me as you have said.” And in that declaration, there is the challenge of continuing when we do not know…when we do not know how it all fits together…when we do not know or we doubt if we have really heard God’s voice…and even those times when we are amazed by how God is moving and wonder why and how he will use us…

We see Mary again – in the upper room with the disciples. This is after the cross, after the resurrection, after the ascension…and now Mary is with the others…waiting…

I can imagine that Mary was still pondering…and what a life to ponder!

And yet – not just pondering…also going forward.

As I type this, Christmas is almost here…and I must spend some time pondering that and what that means…

Soon after Christmas the New Year is upon us…and that too lends itself to pondering…looking back over what was and ahead to what will be…

Are you challenged by Mary’s words? I am. It means I will be willing not to know. It means I will be willing for things to unfold differently than I thought they would. It means I will be okay with things I do not understand.

“I am the Lord’s servant…may it be to me as you have said."

Ruth U.

The Newborn Jesus

“I kiss your tiny fingers and little perfect head,

Lay you in the manger that tonight will be your bed.
Tomorrow you will be King,
But tonight you are my baby.”
- Jeannine Q. Norris, from Tonight You Are My Baby: Mary’s Gift

Last Christmas, I had a 6-week old baby and I gained an entirely new perspective on the humility with which God came and lived among us. I remember looking at my newborn in awe, wondering at Mary’s thoughts and feelings as she navigated the experience of a young first-time mother to a demanding newborn.

Newborns are messy. They are loud. They are exhausting and helpless and completely dependent. As we sing “Away in a Manger” and “What Child is This?” we celebrate the God who came to us in the most unassuming and unlikely way. We sing about the Creator of the Universe who also spit up and pooped and needed his mommy. How amazing is this?! And what does this mean??

What does this mean for those of us who are bound to this human frailty? Who struggle and muddle along day to day? What are we to learn from this about ourselves and our fellow travellers in the world?

In Bible College, I had a professor who said something that I will always remember: Everything we learn in Scripture about Jesus’ life has something to teach us about what it means to be human and how we reflect God through our human experience. Jesus’ humanity speaks about our humanity, and about how God interacts with us IN our humanness. Jesus’ humanity also speaks to us about how to see the people around us through God’s eyes.

As I’ve reflected on this truth in light of Jesus as a newborn baby, I think about my own helplessness and neediness. I think about how different I am today than I was at the beginning of my journey in relationship with Christ. I think about how much I need care and understanding and gentleness from the people around me. I am sensitive and I am fragile. I am growing, but slowly, and with many faltering steps. I need patience as I try and fail, as I seek understanding but often get it wrong…

I’m so grateful for Jesus, who understands these needs, who knows the hesitance and awkwardness of being human. I’m so grateful for God’s gentleness with me, for guiding in tenderness and without frustration as I try and try and try again…  I am humbled by a God who doesn’t demand that I “get it together” and be “fixed” and be a perfect follower all at once.  Instead, there is a Divine Generosity and a grace that allows me to grow in grace and understanding from a “newborn,” gradually changing through ongoing relationship and trust with God and with the people God brings into my path.

I am also prompted to think about how the newborn Jesus challenges me to think differently about other people. How often I am impatient and rush to judgment about where others are (or should be) in their journey with God. How tempting it can be to form assumptions and expectations about how “grown up” others should be when it comes to matters of faith and morality. In the Gospels, we witness Jesus’ development from infancy to youth to adulthood.  His humanity is present in his growth.

As I seek to reflect Jesus in my daily life, I long to cultivate the gentleness and grace with others that God offers to me. I know how long my journey has been, how arduous some stages of struggle have been, and how grateful I am for God’s mercy and patience. I pray that I am able to extend this same mercy and patience with others who are on their own journey. Sometimes miracles happen all at once and change happens overnight. More often, though, change happens slowly. Awareness grows and we gradually become ready to be changed. And, in fact, some of the most profound inner work happens in that process of moving toward readiness. Much happens beneath the soil, in the darkness, before we see the sprout push through the surface of the ground.

My prayer is that we would see the gift of Jesus’ humanity in a new way. Would we reflect on our growth (both physically and spiritually) from newborn. Would we be grateful for the grace we are extended as we grow. And would we offer this same grace to others who cross our paths, trusting that God is moving even when we cannot see change.

Arlene M.

Aprons

Tis the season for busyness in the kitchen! As I am not even in the top three of the talented cooks in my family, what I end up making more than anything is a mess. I really should wear an apron.

When I think about aprons (and – yes – I have actually done that!) I think about two styles.

I remember my mom wearing the smaller version – the kind that just tied around her waist and basically covered her skirt. I really only remember that she wore them on Sunday as she was preparing Sunday lunch after church. This was also the garment on which I learned to iron. (Yes, young one, iron. It is a thing. Google it!) Perhaps that is why this style of apron is not my favourite.

I do like the full aprons – the ones with a strap that goes around your neck and that covers your entire front. These are the ones I remember my grandmas wearing – not just on Sundays but pretty much whenever they were in the kitchen. These are the kind that I should wear.

Susanna Wesley was the mother of John & Charles Wesley and their 17 siblings. That makes a total of 19 children. Nine of those children died in infancy. Susanna’s husband Samuel was a pastor who was often away for extended periods of time which included a stint in jail for failure to pay his debts.

Susanna, often on her own, bore the responsibility for her children’s education – she home-schooled which included lessons in Greek and Latin.

Susanna, often on her own, bore the responsibility for her children’s spiritual upbringing teaching her children the necessity of scripture and prayer.

This was a busy woman!

It has been written that Susanna had committed to spending an hour in prayer for every hour she spent on entertainment. Having given birth to 19 children and having almost sole responsibility for raising the 10 who survived infancy, there was obviously no time for entertainment so Susanna resolved to spend two hours a day in private prayer.

Again with such a full household where was there a place for private prayer? When would there be a time for private prayer?

This is where we get back to aprons. Susanna wore an apron. The story is told that she told her children that when she pulled her apron over her head that it meant she was in prayer and was not to be disturbed.

This was a woman committed to prayer…committed to her own relationship with God…regardless of the busyness of the day…

This is a lesson I need to learn and relearn.

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.” (James 4:8a)

This is a lesson for the busiest of times…maybe especially for the busiest of times…

While it is true that God is always present, He longs to draw close to each of us in a personal, intimate relationship. And yet in that, He waits for each of us to stop what we are doing and just come to him.

Even as I write this I question how to make this fit into my day. Especially today. Especially at this season.

My mom and my grandmas tied on their aprons as a protection for their clothes. I think that Susanna pulled her apron over her head as a way to insure her heart was protected…that her relationship with her Saviour was protected.

We will protect what we truly value, won’t we?

Don’t wait for your New Year’s resolutions.

 Don’t wait for next week when things have slowed down.

 Don’t wait to do what you need to do to spend some time alone with God…to pray…everyday…

Find your apron.

Ruth U.

Like a Tree Planted…

For the past few weeks at church my pastor has been encouraging us to meditate on Psalm 1. My pastor is a smart, funny and handsome guy. Before you think me scandalous, I’m married to him so I’m allowed to say that stuff! Some of these thoughts are borrowed from the discussions we’ve been having at church. The first part of the chapter (verses 1-3) says this:

Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

Picture an old tree – hundreds of years old. So ginormous that you can’t put your arms around the trunk with huge, twisted roots drawing strength and health from its life source of flowing waters located beside it. Its deep roots contain a vast store of nutrients. When storms and winds hammer down, the tree is not moved. Its roots are steadfast. In the heat of the day, when the sun beats down, the tree provides shade and relief and fruit. It is a welcome sight to passersby who need protection from the elements.

Now picture this: The tree is you.

As you journey through life with God, you draw strength and wisdom, hope and joy to carry you along.  He is your life source. God’s words of love for you sink deep down and steady you and spill into every area of your life…who you are and how you operate in the world. When negative messages come your way, you are able to set them aside and cling to what He says about you. A driver cuts you off and you’re able to curb the angry blue streak that wants to jump out of your mouth. Your toddler is driving you crazy with tantrums and you’re able to patiently wrap your arms around them till they calm down. There’s a co-worker with a challenging personality that grates on everyone’s nerves and you’re able to resist sharing in the workplace gossip and extend friendship to that person.

Others are drawn to that anchoring strength and lean on you when they need a break from the storms of life. You shelter and shade others when you share a laugh with them and offer joy…when you truly hear them and offer compassion…when you roll up your sleeves and work shoulder-to-shoulder alongside them…when you remind them they’re not alone and offer love.

You do not offer these things because they come naturally to you or because you’re good at it. You offer them because they have been offered to you. They come from the overflow of your deep connection with God. If you cultivate deep roots and delight in God and His word, there will be an abundant supply of life and health to offer others. Be the tree and point to the Life Source.

Brenda E.

In Tune

“Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace.”

For some time I thought the lyric was “tune my heart to sing thy praise” which is a reasonable thought but the line actually is “tune my heart to sing thy grace”.

I have been pondering this phrase…tune my heart…like the strings of a guitar, my heart gets out of tune from time to time…and when I say from time to time, I really mean all the time.

I asked a guitar playing friend why guitars go out of tune. He told me that the strings stretch as they are played. Then they need to be tuned again. Hmm…

Tune my heart to sing thy grace…when I am stretched…tune me again to sing thy grace…

My default setting is not grace. It’s just not. Whether it is receiving grace or extending grace, I wander from it. Sometimes just a bit – so that the song from my heart sort of sounds okay. The words may still be right but if you listen closely something sounds a little off…a little out of tune.

I forget to remember that God loves me… completely…unconditionally…unfailingly. Period.

I forget that my busyness, my activities, my accomplishments, though all good and supposedly all for Him, do not change a thing. That is, they do not change His love for me. They do not change how He has forgiven me. They do not change the grace extended to me.

And the anger that I justify feeling towards another…my desire for justice when I have been wronged…my unwillingness to forgive…that is not my heart singing his grace either.

Later in the song it says, “Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be.”

When I think of the grace I have received…grace and mercy so freely given…I am in debt infinitely beyond my ability to repay and yet so often I am like the ungrateful servant who demands a debt to be repaid even though it is a pittance compared to what he has been forgiven. (Matt.18:21-35)

We know it – don’t we – that we are lost without grace…completely without hope….

And we also know – don’t we – of the need to forgive as we have been forgiven?

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col.3:13)

Grace and forgiveness…oh that that would always be my response…that my heart would be tuned to sing His grace.

Ruth U.

Strength in Weakness

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 

so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, 

I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

Ughhh. My face still burns when I think about it. Those stunned faces as I lurched toward them with a full tray of sparkling beverages in fancy glasses. The chaos that ensued after I hit the floor and said beverages splattered and drenched formal clothes and carefully styled hair. Ughh. Just, ughhh.

I was an RA in college, there was a formal opening of a new building on campus, lots of important guests, and the student leaders were serving. Whoever decided it was a good idea to put me in formal shoes and hand me a tray of liquid in fragile containers really should have spoken with my mother. She would have told them it wasn’t a good idea. But there I was, eager to do well in my leadership role and telling myself, “You’ve got this.” And then that wretched half-step. You know the one that catches you off guard and sends you stumbling.

For a moment or two after I scrambled to my feet, I stood totally frozen in place, unable to move, just watching the scene unfold in front of me like an out-of-body experience. People were rushing around, grabbing napkins, moving people out of the way of broken glass, probably toweling off (just saying some folks got wet)…

I totally could have stayed cool. I could’ve apologized profusely, made a little self-deprecating joke, helped clean up, and served some new drinks. I could have done that. Or… I could have done what I actually did.

I turned around and ran out of the room. Through the hallways, out of the building and fully across campus to my dorm where I could sneak quietly into my room and be alone with my shame and berate myself in peace.

This would have been a fine plan, if three of my girls were not sitting in the lounge when I rushed in. They saw my wet clothes and stricken face and rushed to me. “What’s wrong???  What happened??  Are you okay??”

And I burst into tears. Me, the older, mature leader, appointed to mentor and guide these young women. In tears. And not delicate tears slipping gently down my cheeks. No. Huge, snotty, gasping, sobbing, ugly-cry tears. Accompanied by angry embarrassment. I distinctly remember saying, “I’m SUCH a clumsy idiot!! Why did I even think I could do it?!”

What’s worse than spilling a tray of drinks on couples in fancy clothes? Bawling like a baby about it and being held and consoled by kids, KIDS, who were supposed to respect me and look up to me and believe I had it all together!! I eventually collected myself, apologized, and slipped to the shower to clean up and cry some more. I was pretty sure I had totally blown the entire year – and it was only the first week…

But somehow, to my utter amazement and astonishment, the year wasn’t “blown” at all. Somehow, seeing me at a moment of total weakness humanized me to these young women. They had seen their leader humiliated and awkward and sad. And in ways I cannot fully comprehend, this opened the way for trust and relationship that would have taken much longer to build if I’d just had it all together. This very humbling experience actually paved the way for much deeper, authentic, and often raw communication in our dorm.

It’s another paradox. With God, we live and we lead most effectively from our places of weakness. This is so upside-down from the culture that we live in, and we resist it all the time. We hold on tight to what we can control. We guard our hearts and build walls to prevent others from seeing our imperfections. We spend an enormous amount of energy managing the image we present to the world. And in so doing, we move further and further from the place of vulnerability and openness where God can shape us and use us.

The reason it is true, that “when I am weak, then I am strong,” is because we give God space to work when we acknowledge that we are not in control. When we are weak and just can’t get it together on our own and everyone around us knows it… we are in the perfect position to allow God to move through us in ways we could NEVER do in our own strength.

May we unburden ourselves from the pressure to have it all together. May we release the need to project and maintain our image. May we be willing to be exposed in our weakness, in order to experience God’s grace and strength in new and unexpected ways.

Arlene M.

JUMP, JUMPER!

What would you DO, if you could do ANYTHING in the world? What would you BE if you could be ANYTHING in the world? What would it take for you to live with sacred joy? What would it mean if we shut out all of the lies that paralyzed us in fear? What would it mean for us to take a flying leap into the unknown, but KNOW that Jesus was right there, right beside us? What would it take for you to know the TRUTH, and have it set you FREE?

“You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31,32 TLB 

“If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31,32 NIV 

“If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.”  

John 8:31,32 The Message 

I love the last version of this verse! If you “STICK WITH THIS”. Doesn't it feel like that sometimes? Doesn't it feel like, in certain seasons, that we are just sticking with it, holding on, barely breathing?

The word "hold" actually means: to abide, live in accordance with, dwell within, adhere to, are faithful to...

Most of us could quote John 8: 32 by memory. “Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (NIV). It's quoted in movies, songs, on TV and in our churches! But vs 31 is often left out and yet it is the hinge to our freedom. In order to be free, we must abide in, live in accordance with, dwell within, adhere to, be faithful to, HIS WORD!  HOLDING = FREEDOM!! If you want to know truth and want to be free, then we MUST begin to live a certain way. We must begin to stay, remain, give our life. Stay WITH Him. Remain IN Him. Give your life TO Him.  

Sometimes it takes every ounce of strength to HOLD. Sometimes it takes every ounce of patience to remain, to STAY. Sometimes it takes a flying LEAP, to give your life fully to Him. And every. single. time it results in freedom. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Stay - when you feel like running from Him. Hold - when it feels like everything around you is letting go. Jump - because you were born to jump, Jumper!!! When we stick with it, when we stay in His word & in His ways when things get hard (because we KNOW they will), the reward is a beautiful life of FREEDOM! Fight it out. Don't give up. Don't let your guard down for even ONE minute because at the end of this season there is triumph and freedom. This pain you're experiencing will end and with it will come freedom from the lies you've believed, from the weight you've been carrying, from the condemnation you've been feeling. Remain in HIM, in HIS Word, in HIS ways. HOLD to His teachings. Keep your eyes on him.  

So, I ask again. What would you DO if you could do ANYTHING? What would you BE if you could be anything? Often we confuse "DO ANYTHING" with an occupation. Maybe it's teaching that Sunday School class, taking over the Christmas Musical, taking piano lessons for the first time, doing a 5km run for Cancer, maybe it's walking into a church for the first time in YEARS. Maybe 'BEING' is being kind to the person that wounded you, maybe it's loving the unlovable in our cities, maybe it's being honest with ourselves and our brokenness and holding tight to His word because, really, it's all we've got. If holding onto His word results in freedom, then JUMP. If you are a follower of Jesus you are a jumper. YOU. ARE. A. JUMPER.   

JUMP, JUMPER!

Tara W.