Free To Lead – Winnipeg

Have you ever attended an event because you just thought you should be there? You went not knowing exactly what to expect because it was something sort of new in your world. And yet, there  had been things stirring in your heart, perhaps even troubling you…maybe for a short time, maybe for years. So you went.

I think that is what I saw. I am pretty sure it is what I experienced – a  group of women gathering under the banner of Free To Lead with a whole range of questions , doubts, expectations and even fears, and yet with the courage to check this thing out. Women who recognize and embrace their place as leaders and women who wondered if they really could be leaders. Women who were unsure of their ability and yet feeling a nudge toward more. Women who know their giftings and are yet unsure of the path. And often, all of those things are in each woman…sometimes we are complicated creatures!

Even with all of that, or maybe because of it, there was a sense of anticipation in the room.

With the panels and the speakers, stories were shared that were easily recognized, themes we live by. I need to prove my worth…prove that I am smart enough or, on the other hand, hide my intelligence. Be responsible for everyone. Don’t make mistakes. Don’t be yourself.

All of that and leadership too?

We know the verses from Psalm 139…you created my inmost being…you knit me together…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be… (from verses 13-16).

Many of us have probably said the words to others – You are God’s masterpiece – and we easily believe it - for them.

The statement was made that “we honour God when we take time to discover His handiwork – and that handiwork is you.”  Murmurs of understanding. Heads nodding. That seems to be one of the keys of the conference for many.

Identity. In Christ. Unique…with weakness and strength. And dare we say it…even called.

In that, there is a recognition that this will look different for each of us. Some will intentionally mentor. Some will quietly influence. Some will make the plans. Some will lead the charge. Some will pick up a mic. Some will pick up a pen. Some will find solutions. Some will challenge. Each path as unique as each of us…each leading, influencing, as God has planned for us to lead and influence.

One of the opening comments that had many of us scrambling for our pens was this: “God can’t use what we won’t acknowledge.” What do you need to acknowledge? What do I need to acknowledge? What strength? What stirring of your heart? Where do you need to take a step?

The closing admonition – be open to being used…let your heart be moved…do something!

In all of this, it is not about claiming a position or recognition for ourselves. Hear the Father say “That deposit in you is for me.” It is all for Him, for His Glory and His Kingdom.

Ruth U.

Praying While Trusting

In the past week or so I've read and heard many people talk about 2015 goals and New Year’s resolutions. I've also heard many talk about what to do or what not to do in order to keep and attain those goals.

I’m not sure if you’re one of those people who makes New Year’s resolutions; I’ve never been so inclined. I’m not sure if that’s because I don’t think I will be able to keep the New Year’s resolution or whether I just can’t be bothered to make and set a goal for January 1^st. Either way, it certainly is talked, tweeted, blogged and written about a lot at this time of year.

I have thought about the many things God has done in my life in 2014. Things to rejoice over, areas I have grown in and goals attained. I’m sure all of us can look over the past 12 months and count our blessings and remind ourselves of many good things we have experienced and enjoyed. However, the past 365+ days have not all be rosy and wonderful. Real life happens and that includes disappointments, dissatisfactions and even disillusionments.

In the past few days I've thought of people I know who've had a difficult 2014. Full of disappointments, unexpected illness, sorrow, grief, unforeseen limitations imposed on them and the list goes on. It leaves my heart heavy and I've found myself wrestling with the question, “What can I do?”.

Does the casserole help in the midst of the deep grief?

Does the email help encourage someone after their diagnosis?

Does the phone call remind them that someone cares and just wants to give a few minutes of their time?

The answer is – yes. Absolutely YES!! None of these things change their circumstances, but each of them let’s someone else know that they’re not alone and someone cares.

I can’t change their diagnosis, I can’t pay their bills, nor can I bring their loved one back, but I can to do something practical while I’m praying for them and letting them know I care.

I can pray and intercede on their behalf – and THAT’s significant!

An ocean may separate us, but I have direct access to my Heavenly Father with my prayers. On behalf of friends and family I can go to the throne room and intercede for those situations and circumstances that leave them (and me!) feeling fearful, stunned and even overwhelmed.

Sometimes I don’t even know how to pray, but God still hears the cries of my heart and I can trust God with those who are near and dear to me.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.”

Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will meet all your needs, according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Maybe these verses are not just for those going through difficult times, but for those of us walking alongside someone who is. Interesting thought isn’t it? Can I trust God with my friend’s grief and my fears?

The answer is YES! Yes I can trust Him and Yes I’m going to trust Him. I’m going to trust God in spite of what the diagnosis is, I’m going to trust God in spite of someone’s poor decision(s) and I’m going to trust God when I can’t see a good outcome for anyone involved.

So what does 2015 look like for me? 

I don’t know what is coming up, but I do know WHO I can trust and WHO will walk with me and WHO will meet every one of my needs.

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father.

I am thankful He sent Jesus.

I am thankful the Holy Spirit is my Comforter.

And I am thankful for another year to serve Him.

Jo-Ann P.

Pondering…

Mary Did You Know…you have no doubt heard that song already this season. I don’t mean to make light of the message of it but the simple answer to the question is – no. No…she did not know.

The song mentions some highlights. Walking on water. Miracles. Tender moments. Events for a mom to treasure in her heart.

The fact is that Mary didn’t know and yet she said to the angel “I am the Lord’s servant…May it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 2:38)

As a Jewish woman at that time, the concept of what the Messiah would accomplish was framed at least in part by a Roman occupation. When the angel reported that the Son to whom Mary would give birth would have a kingdom that would never end, Mary may have had some preconceived ideas of what that would look like for both her son and herself.

I wonder…Mary, if you had known…would you still have said yes?

Let’s consider some of the happenings in Mary’s life that didn’t make it into the song.

First – no room in the inn. A stable, a barn, a cave – whatever it was, to call that a humble beginning is an understatement. And then the first visitors – not town officials, not family, not religious leaders…just a bunch of stinky shepherds…it is after this we are told that “Mary treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke2:19)

I imagine that Mary pondered more than just that one time.

I get ‘pondering’.

When I ponder, sometimes it is with amazement at what God has done or said or shown to me.

 Sometimes when I ponder there is a sense of trying to figure out how things fit together.

Sometimes when I ponder it is with questions, doubt and uncertainty…did I really hear from God?

When I look at how Mary’s life unfolded, I wonder if she experienced all these types of ponderings too?

Mary & Joseph take the infant Jesus to the temple where they meet Simeon who rejoices at the sight of Israel’s deliverer. He blesses them and then turns to Mary and tells her that “a sword will pierce your own soul too.” I wonder how much Mary pondered that…

Years later, Jesus is ministering to the people and Mary tries to see him. When Jesus is told that he says “Who is my mother and who are my brothers? Pointing to his disciples he said “Here are my mother and my brothers…” (Matt12:48, 49)

That had to hurt just a bit…is this what blessed and highly favoured looks like…or is this again the sword piercing your soul…I would be pondering…

Then we see Mary at the foot of the cross. I can not even imagine her pain…I can not imagine the emotional agony of that scene. We read it and know the outcome…but for Mary who carried and gave birth to this one…this one now broken and bleeding on a cross… to remember that greeting from the angel more than 30 years before… I wonder if the memory of that greeting now seemed a little hollow…even mocking…

No… Mary did not know…

Mary… if you had known, would you still have said “May it be to me as you have said”?

We all have before us the opportunity to say “May it be to me as you have said.” And in that declaration, there is the challenge of continuing when we do not know…when we do not know how it all fits together…when we do not know or we doubt if we have really heard God’s voice…and even those times when we are amazed by how God is moving and wonder why and how he will use us…

We see Mary again – in the upper room with the disciples. This is after the cross, after the resurrection, after the ascension…and now Mary is with the others…waiting…

I can imagine that Mary was still pondering…and what a life to ponder!

And yet – not just pondering…also going forward.

As I type this, Christmas is almost here…and I must spend some time pondering that and what that means…

Soon after Christmas the New Year is upon us…and that too lends itself to pondering…looking back over what was and ahead to what will be…

Are you challenged by Mary’s words? I am. It means I will be willing not to know. It means I will be willing for things to unfold differently than I thought they would. It means I will be okay with things I do not understand.

“I am the Lord’s servant…may it be to me as you have said."

Ruth U.

The Newborn Jesus

“I kiss your tiny fingers and little perfect head,

Lay you in the manger that tonight will be your bed.
Tomorrow you will be King,
But tonight you are my baby.”
- Jeannine Q. Norris, from Tonight You Are My Baby: Mary’s Gift

Last Christmas, I had a 6-week old baby and I gained an entirely new perspective on the humility with which God came and lived among us. I remember looking at my newborn in awe, wondering at Mary’s thoughts and feelings as she navigated the experience of a young first-time mother to a demanding newborn.

Newborns are messy. They are loud. They are exhausting and helpless and completely dependent. As we sing “Away in a Manger” and “What Child is This?” we celebrate the God who came to us in the most unassuming and unlikely way. We sing about the Creator of the Universe who also spit up and pooped and needed his mommy. How amazing is this?! And what does this mean??

What does this mean for those of us who are bound to this human frailty? Who struggle and muddle along day to day? What are we to learn from this about ourselves and our fellow travellers in the world?

In Bible College, I had a professor who said something that I will always remember: Everything we learn in Scripture about Jesus’ life has something to teach us about what it means to be human and how we reflect God through our human experience. Jesus’ humanity speaks about our humanity, and about how God interacts with us IN our humanness. Jesus’ humanity also speaks to us about how to see the people around us through God’s eyes.

As I’ve reflected on this truth in light of Jesus as a newborn baby, I think about my own helplessness and neediness. I think about how different I am today than I was at the beginning of my journey in relationship with Christ. I think about how much I need care and understanding and gentleness from the people around me. I am sensitive and I am fragile. I am growing, but slowly, and with many faltering steps. I need patience as I try and fail, as I seek understanding but often get it wrong…

I’m so grateful for Jesus, who understands these needs, who knows the hesitance and awkwardness of being human. I’m so grateful for God’s gentleness with me, for guiding in tenderness and without frustration as I try and try and try again…  I am humbled by a God who doesn’t demand that I “get it together” and be “fixed” and be a perfect follower all at once.  Instead, there is a Divine Generosity and a grace that allows me to grow in grace and understanding from a “newborn,” gradually changing through ongoing relationship and trust with God and with the people God brings into my path.

I am also prompted to think about how the newborn Jesus challenges me to think differently about other people. How often I am impatient and rush to judgment about where others are (or should be) in their journey with God. How tempting it can be to form assumptions and expectations about how “grown up” others should be when it comes to matters of faith and morality. In the Gospels, we witness Jesus’ development from infancy to youth to adulthood.  His humanity is present in his growth.

As I seek to reflect Jesus in my daily life, I long to cultivate the gentleness and grace with others that God offers to me. I know how long my journey has been, how arduous some stages of struggle have been, and how grateful I am for God’s mercy and patience. I pray that I am able to extend this same mercy and patience with others who are on their own journey. Sometimes miracles happen all at once and change happens overnight. More often, though, change happens slowly. Awareness grows and we gradually become ready to be changed. And, in fact, some of the most profound inner work happens in that process of moving toward readiness. Much happens beneath the soil, in the darkness, before we see the sprout push through the surface of the ground.

My prayer is that we would see the gift of Jesus’ humanity in a new way. Would we reflect on our growth (both physically and spiritually) from newborn. Would we be grateful for the grace we are extended as we grow. And would we offer this same grace to others who cross our paths, trusting that God is moving even when we cannot see change.

Arlene M.

Aprons

Tis the season for busyness in the kitchen! As I am not even in the top three of the talented cooks in my family, what I end up making more than anything is a mess. I really should wear an apron.

When I think about aprons (and – yes – I have actually done that!) I think about two styles.

I remember my mom wearing the smaller version – the kind that just tied around her waist and basically covered her skirt. I really only remember that she wore them on Sunday as she was preparing Sunday lunch after church. This was also the garment on which I learned to iron. (Yes, young one, iron. It is a thing. Google it!) Perhaps that is why this style of apron is not my favourite.

I do like the full aprons – the ones with a strap that goes around your neck and that covers your entire front. These are the ones I remember my grandmas wearing – not just on Sundays but pretty much whenever they were in the kitchen. These are the kind that I should wear.

Susanna Wesley was the mother of John & Charles Wesley and their 17 siblings. That makes a total of 19 children. Nine of those children died in infancy. Susanna’s husband Samuel was a pastor who was often away for extended periods of time which included a stint in jail for failure to pay his debts.

Susanna, often on her own, bore the responsibility for her children’s education – she home-schooled which included lessons in Greek and Latin.

Susanna, often on her own, bore the responsibility for her children’s spiritual upbringing teaching her children the necessity of scripture and prayer.

This was a busy woman!

It has been written that Susanna had committed to spending an hour in prayer for every hour she spent on entertainment. Having given birth to 19 children and having almost sole responsibility for raising the 10 who survived infancy, there was obviously no time for entertainment so Susanna resolved to spend two hours a day in private prayer.

Again with such a full household where was there a place for private prayer? When would there be a time for private prayer?

This is where we get back to aprons. Susanna wore an apron. The story is told that she told her children that when she pulled her apron over her head that it meant she was in prayer and was not to be disturbed.

This was a woman committed to prayer…committed to her own relationship with God…regardless of the busyness of the day…

This is a lesson I need to learn and relearn.

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.” (James 4:8a)

This is a lesson for the busiest of times…maybe especially for the busiest of times…

While it is true that God is always present, He longs to draw close to each of us in a personal, intimate relationship. And yet in that, He waits for each of us to stop what we are doing and just come to him.

Even as I write this I question how to make this fit into my day. Especially today. Especially at this season.

My mom and my grandmas tied on their aprons as a protection for their clothes. I think that Susanna pulled her apron over her head as a way to insure her heart was protected…that her relationship with her Saviour was protected.

We will protect what we truly value, won’t we?

Don’t wait for your New Year’s resolutions.

 Don’t wait for next week when things have slowed down.

 Don’t wait to do what you need to do to spend some time alone with God…to pray…everyday…

Find your apron.

Ruth U.

Like a Tree Planted…

For the past few weeks at church my pastor has been encouraging us to meditate on Psalm 1. My pastor is a smart, funny and handsome guy. Before you think me scandalous, I’m married to him so I’m allowed to say that stuff! Some of these thoughts are borrowed from the discussions we’ve been having at church. The first part of the chapter (verses 1-3) says this:

Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

Picture an old tree – hundreds of years old. So ginormous that you can’t put your arms around the trunk with huge, twisted roots drawing strength and health from its life source of flowing waters located beside it. Its deep roots contain a vast store of nutrients. When storms and winds hammer down, the tree is not moved. Its roots are steadfast. In the heat of the day, when the sun beats down, the tree provides shade and relief and fruit. It is a welcome sight to passersby who need protection from the elements.

Now picture this: The tree is you.

As you journey through life with God, you draw strength and wisdom, hope and joy to carry you along.  He is your life source. God’s words of love for you sink deep down and steady you and spill into every area of your life…who you are and how you operate in the world. When negative messages come your way, you are able to set them aside and cling to what He says about you. A driver cuts you off and you’re able to curb the angry blue streak that wants to jump out of your mouth. Your toddler is driving you crazy with tantrums and you’re able to patiently wrap your arms around them till they calm down. There’s a co-worker with a challenging personality that grates on everyone’s nerves and you’re able to resist sharing in the workplace gossip and extend friendship to that person.

Others are drawn to that anchoring strength and lean on you when they need a break from the storms of life. You shelter and shade others when you share a laugh with them and offer joy…when you truly hear them and offer compassion…when you roll up your sleeves and work shoulder-to-shoulder alongside them…when you remind them they’re not alone and offer love.

You do not offer these things because they come naturally to you or because you’re good at it. You offer them because they have been offered to you. They come from the overflow of your deep connection with God. If you cultivate deep roots and delight in God and His word, there will be an abundant supply of life and health to offer others. Be the tree and point to the Life Source.

Brenda E.

In Tune

“Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace.”

For some time I thought the lyric was “tune my heart to sing thy praise” which is a reasonable thought but the line actually is “tune my heart to sing thy grace”.

I have been pondering this phrase…tune my heart…like the strings of a guitar, my heart gets out of tune from time to time…and when I say from time to time, I really mean all the time.

I asked a guitar playing friend why guitars go out of tune. He told me that the strings stretch as they are played. Then they need to be tuned again. Hmm…

Tune my heart to sing thy grace…when I am stretched…tune me again to sing thy grace…

My default setting is not grace. It’s just not. Whether it is receiving grace or extending grace, I wander from it. Sometimes just a bit – so that the song from my heart sort of sounds okay. The words may still be right but if you listen closely something sounds a little off…a little out of tune.

I forget to remember that God loves me… completely…unconditionally…unfailingly. Period.

I forget that my busyness, my activities, my accomplishments, though all good and supposedly all for Him, do not change a thing. That is, they do not change His love for me. They do not change how He has forgiven me. They do not change the grace extended to me.

And the anger that I justify feeling towards another…my desire for justice when I have been wronged…my unwillingness to forgive…that is not my heart singing his grace either.

Later in the song it says, “Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be.”

When I think of the grace I have received…grace and mercy so freely given…I am in debt infinitely beyond my ability to repay and yet so often I am like the ungrateful servant who demands a debt to be repaid even though it is a pittance compared to what he has been forgiven. (Matt.18:21-35)

We know it – don’t we – that we are lost without grace…completely without hope….

And we also know – don’t we – of the need to forgive as we have been forgiven?

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col.3:13)

Grace and forgiveness…oh that that would always be my response…that my heart would be tuned to sing His grace.

Ruth U.