Practice, Practice, Practice

I am working my way through a book called “as we forgive” on the subject of forgiveness and reconciliation in Rwanda. I say that I am working my way through this book because it is not an easy read. I find that I must put it aside from time to time not just because of the heaviness of the stories but also because of some of the examples and teachings on forgiveness. These are not examples of minor offences. If there would ever be justifiable reasons for revenge, they are here, and yet there are examples of forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration in the face of unspeakable pain. I have been challenged and have spent a fair bit of time pondering.

The book also talks about a Pennsylvania Amish community that had to deal with a brutal school shooting a few years ago. The bigger story became the reaction of the Amish people who visited the parents of the shooter, offering forgiveness and sharing in their sorrow. The story goes on to say that in this Amish culture “forgiveness is a virtue that is cultivated” and that there are “habits of forgiveness”…and so I wonder….is this part of what Jesus was trying to get across when Peter asked if he should forgive his brother up to seven times.

Jesus answered,” I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” ( Matt 18:22)

Seven times, seventy-seven times or seventy times seven, if we are counting we may just have missed the point! On the other hand, if I have actually forgiven someone that many times, at some point, that is going to become my habit – maybe my default position. If I actually get to that point, maybe that whole turning the other cheek business will be more reality than theory in my life.

I often know when I should forgive. I may even want to forgive. When I remember all that I have been forgiven how can I not forgive? Forgiving though is often easier said than done.

A culture of forgiveness sounds like a great idea but how do I get there? How do we get there? It may need to start with just one being willing to form a habit of forgiveness. Habits are formed by repeating behaviour…practice, practice, practice…

We may need to start with the small things. The things we may pass off as insignificant and yet are habit forming – the driver who cut you off, the cashier who short-changed you, the person who invaded your chocolate stash…all pretty insignificant really and yet perhaps the beginning of a mindset. Imagine how our relationships, our families, our churches could be transformed with just a little more practice.

Ruth