Discovering the Garden

When we had our first child, almost 7 years ago, I remember constantly hearing the same words from the lips of many well meaning older women. They'd smile at my little boy, look all wistful and say, "Enjoy him. They grow up so fast!"

My ungracious inner response, prompted by hours of a screaming baby, sleep deprivation, and life-change so drastic, I felt I was losing my sanity, was "GOOD!"

Six years and two more children later, I'm starting to see where those women were coming from. Life is just so busy. A few months ago, I realized I was addicted to rushing. There were all these important things I had to do, and places we had to be. When I did get a chance to breathe, someone would ask me about my week and I'd realize I could barely remember it. It was simply a sea of appointments, classes, meal preparation, feeding babies, diapers, coffee dates, ministry, and practices that went on and on and on. I was spending all my time mindlessly doing, planning, and hurrying that I never felt like I was LIVING. I began to feel a deep need to get the most out of these years, and this life, because it was flying by and despite the busyness, I was feeling empty.

We were not made to hurry. We were made to live in a beautiful garden, to rest in the presence of God, to experience the intimacy of being the daughters of a most unbelievable Father. A Father whose love is so incredibly relentless and breathtaking that we lose all our issues, our ugly parts, and our insecurities when we begin to step into the fullness of that love.

In the past, I have always come up with my own little "self-help" plans that usually involve more reading, more exercise, more devotions, more ministry, more soaking, more time with my kids, more healthy meals etc... This time it was different. God told me to do away with the lists and the plans, to just simply look for Him in my day. Find Him in the garden. We don't get the most out of life by doing more with our life. We get the most out of life, by recognizing life.

My kids are not the distraction, they are LIFE. My life. If the dishes stay dirty over night because we want to play games and have tickle fights, that too, is LIFE. If rushing my kids to the car (so we won't be late) becomes more important than hearing their stories or drying their tears, I hurt them. and I cheapen my LIFE. I know I won't remember which days my house was clean or which days we made it to church on time. Unfortunately, I will remember the days I hurt the hearts of my kids because I was hurried or irritable during my quest for the next thing on my to do list. But thankfully, I will remember the days in which moments were made because we paused time by EXPERIENCING it.

There are so many things that God has given us, we only need to stop and open our eyes. When we choose to seek out the gifts He has given us, we see life differently. We begin to see that everything is a gift. Fingerprints on a window become a beautiful piece of art. A child's whispered question becomes a holy moment. We all are homesick for Eden. We rob ourselves of the chance to experience the garden when we rush out searching for it.

This principle is changing me; this "looking for the garden" that is right here. I'm finding that everything takes care of itself when I seek to discover and uncover Him... All my desires to grow and change are being accidentally met as I move with God through the garden.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

Erin

Erin is a wife and mother to three. She is involved in leading worship in her local church as well as running "Experiencing the Father's Embrace" weekends with her husband.